Season of Life

   Mary is busy dealing with a sick baby and I seem to have total writer's block!  Go figure.  Usually I have plenty to say and certainly plenty of opinions to offer but the inkwell has run dry.
   Becoming a published author is something that I have always wanted to be.  It's kind of crazy but  I have known since I was about 8.  However, I know that now is not the time in my life where I can do that.  I am busy researching curriculum and the like - who has time for researching the Dark Ages...
   I often marvel at the fact that I am now middle aged and teenagers see me as old.  But, I enjoy each season of life that I am given.  I can honestly say I don't lament about the years gone by too much but look forward to each day. 
   There is a season for everything, unfortunately in today's society we are taught that we need to do it all, RIGHT NOW!  How sad.  A young mother of toddlers and babies should focus on that.  Churches should not make them feel guilty for not volunteering in the nursery.  Schools desparate for volunteers should not ask them to help with fundraisers.  Civic organizations should find someone else.  But, what do you do when they expect it of you.  Living in a small town has that effect.  Everyone knows who they can count on and who they dare not ask. 
   As a young mother with pre teen stepsons, I felt pulled in many directions and am very thankful that the other moms completely respected my inability to volunteer at the time.  However, as my daughter grew and my stepsons entered high school, I knew it time to make up for lost time. 
   Be careful to evaluate what you are saying yes to.  Is it the right season for it?  A very wise friend once told me that every time you say yes to someone on the phone, you are in fact, saying no to your family.  Think about that - each time you volunteer - if your whole family isn't involved then you may be spending a meal away from them and at the very least time away from them.  So when you volunteer, do your best to involve your family so that memories can be made together.  If they are too young to help, then it probably isn't your 'season' yet.  Blessings!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity  under heaven; a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.  - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Triumph!

  Many of you know that I have been in quite the slump.  However, as I wind down on this Saturday evening and reflect on the week, I realize that I have made many triumphs which leads me to feel victorious.  I don't want to seem prideful but it's been a good week.
  Ever notice when there are a ton of little "tasks" that need to be done it tends to leave you feeling grumpy or like you're climbing up a mountain barefoot?  That's how I've been feeling for quite a while.  With the impending marriage of my oldest stepson, I really want our home in tip-top shape.  Only, when I look around, I see nothing but the i's that need dotted and the t's that need crossed.  The many little tasks actually seem more daunting than a major remodel at this point.  What do to?  Where to begin?  Maybe I'll just go scrub the toilet . . .  No, wait, start working on the list.  So, to the basement I head in hopes of finding a fairly clean and not overly used paintbrush and that dark chocolate brown paint I bought a couple years ago.
  Paintbrush.  Check.  Paint.  Check.  Paint can opener - MIA.  Flatblade screwdriver.  That's easy, my husband owns stock in Sears (I'm pretty sure of it). 
   Three years ago we did a major kitchen remodel.  I mean major - took out 2 walls, one of which was a supporting wall, created beams to withstand the weight, moved the plumbing and electrical.  What we didn't do is replace the windows.  The trim had been painted several times, so to match all the new woodwork, I simply purchased chocolate chip brown paint by Valspar which matches exactly, just without the woodgrain.  I remember it was homecoming night for the high school and my son Corey's senior year. And I thought I could paint the trim before the game.  I did.  Except one of the windows was open about three inches and once I realized it - I had to let it go until the paint dried before I could close the window and paint the remainder of the green trim to brown.  Who'd have thought it took paint three years to dry. . . hmmmm.  No, not really it just took me three years to get back to it! 
   Next the paint can journeys to our master bedroom.  When we purchased the house, this room was sponge painted pink and blue with the trim being painted John Deere green.  Anyone who knows our family knows that color on anything (and especially a tractor, combine or any other farm equipment) is completely unacceptable.  Before we moved in, I painted the room a deep forest green, but didn't ever get around to the trim.  In fact, I hung curtains and "forgot" about it.  But not really.  Another one of those things that eats on you while you pretend it's something you just don't have time for.  After all, not many people actually see your bedroom.
   I do need to back up a little bit.  What sparked this sudden burst of energy began one day when I went to open the blinds in my bedroom to let the sun in and the curtain fell down.  Just like that.  So, the way I saw it was why hang the curtain up with the trim needing to be painted and why not paint the window in the kitchen and get rid of that too?  Funny how one little thing can truly start a cataclysmic set of events.
  Since that fateful day I have stained 2 doors that we replaced a year ago but never stained, sanded down woodwork that had paint drippings on it and re stained those as well.  I have also sanded the vanity in the bathroom and stained to match the woodwork in the house, painted 2 of the exterior doors and started chipping off paint on our porch to be repainted this spring.  I have also all but completed our taxes of both our personal and farming - just need to send them to our accountant within this time frame.  Our family has not eaten out during this and we have home schooled every day and prepared for the next Junior Bible Quiz meet as well.  Did I mention that I worked about 30 hours a week the last few weeks?  This is why I feel as though I have climbed that mountain of projects.  It is so freeing.  I think back and wonder why in the world I put those little mundane jobs off for so long.  I want to encourage you to chip away at your to-do list but not to be like me.  Don't wait for the curtain to fall - don't be the hare in the race, be the tortoise.  Do your tasks as they come along so that you aren't overwhelmed or dreading them as they mount up.  And most of all, don't expect the impossible of yourself - be yourself and be the best you that you can be!  Blessings - I think I'll go crochet an afghan for my son and his future wife (just kidding, though I'd love to!) !

Loss, Pain and Hope

  I have struggled with writing about this topic for quite some time. I'm not sure if I'm ready or if I can do it justice or if it will even help a single soul out there, but at the same time I feel called to write.  It's such a hard topic but my adult life has been coupled with infertility and an inability to carry a child to term. In fact, I am feeling rather emotional because I should be about 36 weeks right now - but at 12 1/2 weeks I miscarried after a complete unexpected yet joyful discovery.
   The first four years of our marriage I struggled with an inability to conceive, we went to fertility specialists and everything was 'textbook' perfect. Even doctors who didn't seem to have much faith said it just wasn't part of the plan at the time.  That honestly was what they told us.  The struggle was amplified by raising my husbands two sons from a previous marriage. They were/are great kids but it was hard to be infertile and have to deal with "someone else's" kids every day.  That may seem harsh to some readers, but that's how it was.  I didn't treat them poorly or with hate.  I treated them with much love and patience.  They were boys after all, and we all know how much adventure comes with little boys!
   I remember when Kristi called me to tell me she was expecting their first baby.  I was so happy for her, but at the same time completely devastated. I sobbed in my closet for what seemed like hours. I begged God to forgive my feelings but at the same time feeling as though everything under my feet was crumbling.  Kristi was a great friend though.  She was extremely sensitive to the situation (probably too much) and never expected me to act a certain way.  When she was six months along, I found out I was expecting.
   Almost as quickly as I had learned about my pregnancy, it ended.  It was so hard, but finally I felt free because everything changed.  I could get pregnant.  There was hope!  When Kristi's baby made his appearance, it was thrilling and I could truly be happy for her.  Just days after his birth, I discovered I was pregnant again. 
   Pregnancy for me is no picnic.  I literally threw up almost every day and often times many, many times a day.  I only gained 17 pounds during my pregnancy.  And, as weird as it sounds the one thing that wouldn't give me heartburn or make me throw up was a chili cheese hotdog with jalepenos, onions and mustard.  I'm not kidding.  Giant dill pickles helped too.  My former supervisor/ loan officer at the bank I worked at used to go across the street and buy me Klondike bars.  Those helped too. 
   Soon, my baby girl - the one I prayed for and hoped for and begged God for came into our lives.  Being a mom for me was a must.  Not everyone feels this way.  But, God knew my heart and knew I needed her.  During the first four years of infertility I made a very conscious effort not to be bitter towards my stepsons for being someone else's.  But, it was a conscious effort.  Satan was very good at deceiving me and putting feel sorry for myself thoughts in my head.  I did struggle with the whole aspect of why a woman who didn't want to take care of her kids could seem to pop them out left and right.  I still do - hey, I'm just being honest here. 
   Since having my daughter, I have experienced three more miscarriages.  Tests have been run and there is no other apparent reason other than it's not meant to be.  I do think that God has given me an unbelievable dose of understanding and strength.  Which leads me to think there must be women out there that I can minister to by telling my story.  I don't know.  This last miscarriage really rocked my world though.  It had been about 4 years since the last one and I really felt that there were no more babies or conceptions in my future.  I'm getting old.  Then, it dawns on me that I had been missing something for a couple of months!  At first it was, "oh my goodness!"  Then it was, "OH MY GOODNESS!" But all in a good way.  Of course I knew I 'd be getting some backlash from by husband's family - he's the baby of 7 and he was 46...but we were OK with it, so it really didn't matter to us.  Instead of morning sickness, I was sick most of the night and saw it as a good sign.  Then it happened.  It's funny how people can be insensitive without meaning to.  I had one friend ask why I told people so early - I guess it was early, especially for my track record. But I was so excited and surprised and I've never been good at keeping my secrets.  I told my friends at about 10 weeks.  I was sick, I thought it would all be OK.  Then, one day at the pool, I was still going through the process, but took MalPal to swim with Kristi and her brood - another friend came up and started in on "I heard our doctor is going to stop delivering babies - if that's the case I'm going to work on #4 right away"  Well, that was my OB doctor too and it just really hurt to the core of my being.  It didn't at that moment, but it has over time. 
   I know that people don't know what to say in any situation regarding loss.  And, to those that have never experienced a miscarriage, it doesn't even seem like it was a real loss. But, for those of you that haven't had to suffer through one, it is  a loss.  It is something that makes us hopeful mommys feel inadequate.  I suffered hugely about what I did wrong during my pregnancy.  I didn't even drink my 1/2 cup of coffee, took my vitamins and ate lots of organic (from my own garden) vegetables.  I slept, moderately exercised and went to the doctor immediately at 8 weeks to have blood work done to ensure all was well.  And still, I lost the baby.  To think that, as a mother, you can't even protect your baby when it's in the safest place on earth - it's heartwrenching, bone chilling painful.  So, when someone you know loses a baby - no matter how far along they are- just give them a hug and let them cry.  Some may need to vent and allow them to, but please be mindful of what you say.  Because what you say in this time of crisis for them will stay with them forever.
  At the urging of my dear friend Kristi and my exceptionally smart RN friend Heather I went to the recommended doctors appointment two weeks after.  That was quite possibly the most alone I had ever felt and believe me I have been alone a lot in my life.  My husband offered to go, but then couldn't for work related reasons.  So off I went with MalPal.  The longer I was there, the more terrified I became. Not that my doctor in any way gave me reasons to be scared, but my imagination began running away with itself.  I, at one point, convinced myself that maybe God made me pregnant so I'd go to the doctor and discover I had cancer.  Or what if it was a tubal pregnancy was another thought right before the sonogram.  I know that because MalPal was there, I was stuffing down my fears and emotions.  It's almost embarassing to think how distraught I would have been if I didn't have someone there that I had to hold it together for.  I remember I did have to pull over on the way home so I could just cry.  MalPal just held me and cried too.  What a heartbreaker for a 9 year old to go through. 
   Over the years, God has given me the grace to deal with infertility and miscarriages.  Unfortunately, I haven't felt his grace this time around.  I feel completely alone, inadequate and to some extent abandoned.  As my 'due date' approaches, I feel those emotions running high again.  I know I'll get through it and I know that even though I don't necessarily feel Jesus' presence, He is here with me. 
   If you are suffering from a miscarriage, I don't have wonderful words of wisdom for you.  I don't even have words of encouragment for you.  Same if you suffer from infertility.  I'm sorry.  What I do know is that even when you feel most alone and cannot take another breath, God is with you.  He loves you.  He is with you.  And, if you haven't asked God to love you and take care of you then do so.  Because He will.  That's what He wants most, to be the first person you turn to in joy and in sorrow.  He is the Creator of the Universe and that includes you.  He died for you on that cross to save your soul and to spend eternity in heaven with him.  When you accept Jesus Christ as Redeemer, Savior and Lord you can be sure of your gift of eternity in heaven with your beautiful little babies that you were never able to hold.  Just ask Him, only He can make it happen.  Meanwhile, I'll continue praying for every woman out there that hopes to hold a baby of her own... blessings to you all and thanks for reading.

Clear the Clutter

I find that I like to be prepared, or at least try to be prepared in a mayhem sort of way. Due to this need of preparation, I find that storage is an issue.  Particularly since I live in a 1925 bungalow (they just didn't need all the stuff we need nowadays).  There is just so much stuff a person needs to be organized, prepared and efficient...and if you want to add creative in there, well, that's a whole other need for storage!
   Mary is hard at work creating some grand organization project that I am sure will "WOW" us to  no end, but until that is actually completed I have just a few tips for everyday, easy efficiency that I can offer.
   The first and most annoying thing for me is the kitchen drawer full of utensils.  Sometimes, I can't even close my drawer because the utensils aren't laying right and there are just too many of them.  I thought the other night that I actually have my own spoon army!  Obviously, everything in that drawer is of use at some point...spoons, potato masher, garlic press, candy thermometer, tongs, pasta thingy - there are just so many options to cook with.  But, I recommend getting rid of the plethora of spoons or spatulas or whatever you have in excess of.  I honestly can say I don't need 4 slotted spoons and 2 regular spoons.  An option (which does take a little organization) is to get with a group of friends and do a utensil exchange.  Of course, it is a possibility that everyone has an over abundance of spoons.  In that case, pack'em up and ship'em out! 
   Coffee mugs - need I say more?   I have many wonderful coffee mugs that were once part of a set I liked, given as gifts or picked up as freebies.  In my perfect little world, everything in my cabinet matches - yes, that really is important to me.  My mother thought I'd outgrow that, but I haven't.  On the other hand, I have learned to deal with non-matching items.  And, coffee mugs is one of those categories where I sigh every time I open the cabinet.  First of all, it is completely overflowing.  Second of all, my husband has an adoration with his green Cricket phone coffee mugs.  They are several years old, the green paint is chipping off and he loves them.  Have I mentioned they are well past their prime and are u-g-l-y?!  So, here goes nothing, I am going to get rid of the coffee mugs that I deem rather lovely because we never use them and they take up too much space.  I have accepted the fact that my husband loves ugly mugs and I am going to be a wonderful wife and allow him to keep them.  So, though your mugs may have a sentimental value or you possess an innate desire to coordinate and it's just not working for you - free yourself of the clutter.  Put the mugs with the spoons and make at least enough room that a mug doesn't fall out when you open the cabinet door.
   Well, with that said, let's keep moving throughout the house.  We're on a roll after all!  We have eliminated clutter in a cabinet and enabled a drawer to open and close.  What about all those books?  OK, so maybe you don't have the same collection of books I have.  But, I love books.  I love the smell, the way the pages feel (unless they use cheap scratchy paper, then I can't even touch it 'cause it freaks me out) and just knowing that there is an infinite amount of knowledge surrounding me.  Heck, our home now has built in bookshelves and I love books so much that I even left the previous owner's books on the shelves.  But, books can also create clutter if we're not careful.  There is a site that you can actually send your unwanted books = http://www.booksforsoldiers.com/ .  Now, I can't think of a better place for books to go!  Plus, it frees up shelf space to put pictures of your wonderful children (more bragging rights)!
   And, speaking of the kiddos, what about that stash of art made by those wonderfully creative critters that you adore with all of your heart?  Craft after craft, drawing after drawing - I only have one child and we are on overload with the amazing creative talents of  my daughter.  But, as a mom, it seems so cold and heartless to throw something in the trash that she so obviously labored over.  And, their hearts are so pure and they express their love through the amazing art they produce.  What is a parent to do?  Thank goodness for the modern digital age.  My answer to this question is to take pictures of the art and save in a separate file & CD.  This way you can enjoy the art, but not be swimming in cotton balls, glitter and Popsicle sticks.  You can even have them create a slide show of the artwork that runs as a screen saver too!  OK, so it will still be hard to haul it to the trash.  You may have to wait until you are in a "I have to get rid of all this junk" mood and the children aren't there to stare at you with big sad eyes as you toss it.  But, truth be known, I'm still saving the holiday crafts.  With one child, I have that luxury of space. 
   The digital age is nice for so many things, but is anyone else experiencing not cobwebs, but cord webs?  Chargers for every gadget imaginable is about to drive me crazy!  I have resorted to Ziploc bags with what the cord/charger is for  written on them.  Then, every bag containing a charger is tossed into one dresser drawer.  This way, I know where to go to look for something.  It's not the greatest method, but it works and it's easy.  Someday, I may have Mary make me a fancier system (yeah, right).
   The last is blankets and sheets.  First of all, if your blankets sit in a closet without being used an entire winter, please donate them to a shelter or something.  There are many people that are in dire need of a blanket and it would be such a blessing for them.  According to the Fly Lady (as previously mentioned in various blogs) she recommends 2 sets of sheets per bed in the house.  I recommend placing the fitted sheet, flat sheet and second pillow case inside of the other pillowcase.  Then - and I love this idea since I don't have closets - place the extra sheet set under the foot of the mattress it fits.(this last portion is also a tidbit offered by The Fly Lady)  How simple is that?  Even if you do have a closet, you have freed up extra space.  Also, it's much easier to pull out that sheet set and know it will fit that bed, rather than pull it out of a closet and not remember if it fit the queen or the full...
   That's about all the organization - get rid of unwanted clutter tips I have for now.  No, it didn't take another Rubbermaid tote, more shelving or storage rental unit - but it did free up some common space that we meet face to face every day.  So, have a great time trading, taking pictures, marking plastic bags and folding sheets but remember at the end of the day it will leave you feeling refreshed and efficient. This, in turn, allows for great bonding time with the family and spending time at the Lord's Feet rejoicing in His Goodness and Glory.

Breaking The Chains Link Two

Wow, I really let everybody hanging on this Chain breaking thing.......But while Martha has been canning tomatoes, knitting homemade Valentine underwear and making home made saltines crackers I've been stuck in the real world wiping snotty noses, refereeing sword fights, curing a coon hide and taking care of a rabbit that was recently trapped, it is still being debated if it will be used for bobcat bait, keep as a pet, or possibly tomorrow nights dinner.

So I have my list of the of the things that seem to affect how everything runs in this house from getting the hubby out the door so he can bring home the bacon, to getting the bacon in the frying pan, to feeding the little piggies their roast beef, to getting them educated-(so they will leave home), so momma can have more time and energy for daddy so they can make more! (Sorry, that just started flowing!!!!)

Most of you have probably heard of the Fly Lady at http://www.flylady.net/. But if you haven't it is a great site to help you end the “chaos”. I did find it was just to much information at once for me so I had to tweak her plan a little bit and make it work better for me and my family-but it may be just what you need-so if you have never checked her site out you should.

The first order of business is to make out a check list or routines for the morning and night - of the things that you put on your list of things that have to get done-This is not a daily to-do list-This is a routine that you do everyday, even on the weekends and holidays. It is going to include all those things that were on the have to get done list. Put it up some where, where you will see it, don't worry about making it pretty for now-because it will probably change and take a few different versions to figure out what flows the best for your schedule and family. The goal is that these routines become automatic-you just do it without even thinking about it. Your routine needs to fit into your life and your families needs but there are a few Mary Musts-

Make a bedtime routine for you and your children and make sure it is done before 8:00 pm. Even if your kids do not go to bed that early ~Get it done so it is not hanging over your head and you can enjoy your evening together. It is also important that you teach your kids this time management skill and for them too (if age permits) just do it with out your hounding.

Here are my routines: The bold print is a must!

Morning: Must start by 6:15

1. Start a load of Laundry
2. Enter any checks or debit card into the computer-Check calendar
3. Empty the dish washer
4. Get Shane's lunch packed/breakfast
5. Lay out meat/any dinner prep for the day
6. Start school

My afternoon routine: Must Start by 3:30

1. Everyone spends 20 minute picking up
2. Put the days laundry away
3. Vacuum
4. Boys pick 1 toy or game for the evening-that's it nothing else can get out!
5. Look over the menu for the tomorrow-Lay out meat or any prep work, get sack lunches ready
6. Start on Dinner

My Evening Routine: Start as soon as dinner is over. Make sure It is done by 8:00

1. Dinner Clean-up-Myself and one big boy
2. Little boys bath-The big boy that is not helping with dishes gives the boys their bath and reads to them while they are in the tub.
3. Another 10-20 minute pick-up
4. Look over tomorrows to do lists
5. Make sure the sink is shiny clean
6. At 8:15-Mom reads bible to all kiddos
7. 8:30 light out for little ones
8. 9:00 big boys must be in their room-they can read, play DS, listen to music. They just have to be out of our sight and QUIET
9. 10:00 LIGHTS OUT

When you are planning your routines and the time you start your day consider this:

She gets up while it is still night...Proverbs 31:15                       I know....nobody really wants to hear this, and it is one of those bible verses we think we can ignore-But again, I've learned that everything is in there for a reason and God knew that a wife and mother was going to need a head start everyday. The proverbs 31 woman needed it and she had servants-DON'T BLAME ME-BLAME EVE !

Stay away from the temptation to let dishes "Soak" over night-It is normally not necessary, and it is just a yicky way to start your day. My DH gave me this helpful hint and I have for ever been grateful to him for it. If you have a stubborn pot, put it back on the stove with a squirt of dish soap,  bring it to a boil and let it simmer for about  five to 10 minute. The gunk comes right off. I also use this trick for the crock-pot, Of Course then I have to break the overnight rule-but if I fill it with water and soap and turn it on low, by morning it comes right off and you still avoid the dreaded sticking your hand in cold nasty dishwater!

I know what you are thinking? What, Her 8 and 10 year old give the little ones their bath? Yep and they do a great job! This is just the way I found our evenings go better, I have time to get the kitchen really clean and still have time to enjoy the evening with everyone. I have learned that children are far more capable of things then what adults in this modern age expect of them. Of course I am just right in the other room and was right there in the bathroom the first few times we tried this. But don't just assume your child is not ready to do a certain task-You will know after you have helped them a few times if it is a chore they can continue doing, or if it is just not something they are ready for yet.

I made crackers!!

Recently, we have implemented a strict grocery budget.  It is one that I am sure we can eat well off of, but I have 10 days and $14 left before I can start over again.  That's not a big deal, because with coupons I can save tremendous amounts. 

However, with that said, my husband wants chili for supper.  No problem there except for his beloved crackers.  I have never seen a man so 'in love' with crackers and we're out.  Hmmm.  Should I take part of my budget and purchase crackers that I have no coupon for.  No.  So, with the wonderful internet at my fingertips I google saltine crackers.  Here is the recipe I used:

Simple Crackers

• 2 Cups flour
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 2/3 Cup warm water
• 1/3 cup olive oil

1. Preheat the oven to 400.
2. Lightly grease two large cookie sheets. Combine the dry ingredients, and then stir in the water, oil and mix until a smooth dough forms.
3. Divide the dough in half and flatten each half on a cookie sheet. Use a small rolling pin or even your fingers for a rustic, uneven look. Once the dough is spread thin, use a sharp knife or a pizza cutter to cut the dough into squares. The elasticity in the dough will make the crackers shrink slightly and pull away from each other; this makes them easy to bake without sticking together.
4. Brush lightly with an egg wash (one egg white and 2 tablespoons of water) or spray lightly with olive oil.
5. Sprinkle with the topping of your choice. Experiment with your favorite flavors, or try one of these variations: Chopped rosemary and sea salt, sesame seeds, poppyseeds and onion salt, Parmesan cheese
6. Bake for 10-12 minutes until the crackers are golden and crispy.

I had also recently purchased Land O Lakes butter flavoring (with a coupon, no doubt) and added probably a 1/2 tsp to this recipe as well.  On instruction number 4, I sprayed the top with non-stick spray and sprinkled with sea salt (very sparingly).  I have never been one to follow directions to the letter, but I may have to make another batch before supper since these are SO yummy!  I would also like to add that I started this cracker quest at 1:45 and by 2:13 I had found my camera and taken a picture of the completed project.  And, believe me, I spent about 5 minutes just looking for the darn camera! 

As strange as it seems, little conqests like this excite me immensely! I mean, who thinks of doing these things and then who but me actually follows through!  I know, I know there are many of you out there just like me and I am thankful - it makes me feel a little more sane to know you are out there when I am here, surrounded by a world of Marys.  Thanks for reading!

Yes, We've Changed Our Name

Though we've spent years joking about Martha and Mary with each other, we've realized through our postings that at the end of the day it's all about one thing.  We hope to chart our journey and along the way make your journey more fruitful.  The journey's end is 'at His feet'.  We pray that each one of you that reads our blog will step away from your brief respite of modern technology to a more fulfilling day. 

Stay with us as we tweak our system, figure out what is most helpful and share what the Lord wants us to.  Are you curious how to follow?  Simply click the follow link about half way down the page and add your email.  We also love it when you choose to share our blog with your friends and family. 

If you're wondering about the crafts Martha is attempting, they still aren't quite complete, but pictures will be up by the end of the weekend  - even if they are of a half finished project! 
May the blessings of the Lord shower down among each and every one of you!

I should mention our URL has not changed though - it's still http://www.areyoumarthabecauseyouremary.blogspot.com/  it's quite the handle!

A Home. . . On Mission

With all of the chain breaking, household tips and keeping our lives simple that we keep talking about here at Mary and Martha, I have felt increasing lead to share my own personal testimony, and the chains that the Lord broke for me about six years ago that are far more precious then successfully marking off everything on a silly to do list. The freedom to take care of my husband and family first and foremost, and the wisdom to understand what true obedience to Christ is despite what some well meaning Christians; including myself are some times lead to believe.

My testimony begins like a lot of peoples, not too exciting-I grew up in a large family with lots of love and the knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father was just something I had always known and a very easy concept for for me to understand. As I entered in to High-School,unfortunately like most kids popularity and fun were my top priority-Not Jesus. I did attend church with my family and youth group and had a very consensus mind set that all of this was something I would embrace whole heartily when I had a family of my own-But for the time being I didn't want to miss out on anything FUN!

I met Shane when I was 20 years old. It didn't take long to know that he was the one and was everything I had imagined in my future spouse. He was not a church goer (but neither was I at the time) But he did believe in God and we shared the same moral compass (which I would describe as old fashion conservatism) and he was one of the most honest men I had ever met-Sometimes too honest! As we all know by now, young and in love girls can be quite naive, and I went into our marriage with the assumption that when we started our family we would attend church~ as a family.

The dream of that family became a reality in April of 2000. Like all mothers, I was completely taking aback by the love that consumed me for this new little man in my life. Like I had said earlier, I have had a very blessed life-and an abundance of love has never been lacking in it, but for the first time I understood a love so strong I would die for it. I dove into the bible and could not get enough of Gods word, I no longer found it confusing and hard to understand. I could see it for what it was; not a book full of silly traditions and rules; but a Fathers letter to his children, teaching them and warning them of the dangers in this world, trying desperately to get them to understand so they would avoid the path that would lead them to heartache and death, the same thing I want for my own children.  My focus was on my son, and to make sure I raised him according to Gods word, so we of course started going to Church and Sunday School, and to my very public disappointment~alone with no Shane, who wanted no part in messing with his Sunday routine (which usually involves working, not by his choice-but by his career choice). Of-course I saw myself as a perfect submissive Christian wife, always having supper on the table, and jumping to fill his glass when he rattled it, unfortunately I also thought my Christian mother and wifely duties also included letting him know exactly how disappointed I was he would not go with me to church, and what he was watching on TV in front of our child, and the attitude he had when something didn't go his way and the list of his discrepancy went on and on. As I look back at this time in our lives, I am so amazed that our marriage even held together, you would be too if you knew the no-nonsense Mr, Command Man I am married to!

A year and a half after our second son was born a dream came true for us as we were able to purchase a small 80 acre farm outside of Isabel. At the same time I was feeling lead to leave the church I was attending, not of any fault of the church or the people that attended, there was just some things on a national level that I was not comfortable with and was increasing liking the idea of finding a bible believing non denominational church-The move to Isabel was perfect timing, as I was closer to Pratt and could possible go to church there. While being bashful, and not being able to meet new people has never been a problem for me, the idea of walking in to a church by myself with two small children seemed pretty over whelming. There was also a lot of work that needed done that summer on our new home, and Sundays were about the only time Shane could work on things, so I put off looking for a church that summer. It was a wonderful summer, we had so much fun working on the house and the tranquility that country life had brought into our lives. I could also tell that Shane was really enjoying the Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings he was once again enjoying with his woman at his side. But as fall approached and my bible study was starting to meet I was increasingly missing the fellowship-but more importantly having the boys in regular and steady Sunday school classes-After all, I had to raise them right and be the spiritual leader since their father was not stepping up!

It started out like a lot of Sundays at our home, Shane works for a Natural Gas Plant and is on 24 hour call ever two weeks. At 2:30am Sunday morning the Answering Service called our house, and Shane as usual when that call comes in, hops right out of bed and makes the 45 min. drive to the plant. That morning I read a bible story to the boys as they did a simple craft project of gluing news paper scrapes to a foam cross and we wrote across the top of it “SHARE THE GOOD NEWS”. I was very excited that day because my small group was meeting for the first time since the end of spring and I was really excited to see everyone and to get back into the swing of things, if not at a church yet at least I would be having weekly Bible Study and Small group. I had my day all planned, including Shane's favorite meal-I figured if I feed him well it would soften the blow that I would be leaving him for the evening, besides he was going to be exhausted anyway, that would also work to my advantage! Right as I was getting ready to start on his “You Won't Have Your Woman, But At Least You'll Eat A Steak Meal”, Shane walks in the door and tells me to get the boys ready, he is going to get our trailer so we could go back to the gas plant to get some old pipe that would work perfect for the pipe fence he planned to build around our place and if we picked it up before Monday we could just have it, other wise it was getting hauled off. This was totally messing with my plans, but I thought “We should still make it back in time-I just won't have time to make him steak”. We finally had made it home with only about 45 minutes until the start of Small group and I still had to get myself, and the two boys cleaned up and drive the 20 miles to the small group.(they would have to go with we me since Shane could get called out at anytime.) I hesitantly ran them thru the tub, and when they got out they both thought they needed their pj's on-that was no big deal I could take them to the nursery in pajamas. But my youngest who was barley two at the time was worn-out; and after he was dressed begged me “ ock me mommy, ock me.” So I begrudgingly threw him on my lap and began to quickly rock him-My plans were going south-FAST! As I wearily rocked him I prayed, “Lord, I want to serve YOU, I want to live a life YOU would be proud of, I want to raise these boys to grow up to be Godly Men ~ Committed to leading their families in your ways, not this worlds, Instead all I do is serve this Man!” As I sat there, the following seemed to be whispered in my ear. “Kristi, If you want to serve yourself, then you can throw a sandwich at your husband, load these tired babies in a car seat, and keep them up another four hours, so you can spend time with your friends. But if you want to serve me, you will finish rocking this tired baby to sleep, you will lovingly and graciously go and prepare a proper meal for a man who has just worked 16 hours straight with hardly any sleep to provide for you and these children.” A peace immediately came over me, “Okay”, I said to myself, “That is what I'll do”, but Lord I sure hope that is really your voice I am listening to and not someone else' s.” With the littlest one peaceful sleeping in his bed, I got to work on our dinner, and as I was busy in the kitchen washing potatoes, I hear my four old, excitedly hop on his daddy's lap, “Daddy, Look what we made today; It is a cross that says Share the Good News, The good news that Jesus loves us, and died on the cross for our sins, and Daddy Jesus loves you too!”Shane answer's with a “I sure hope so buddy”. Brett confidently assured him that he knew he did, and the two of them sat there admiring Brett's cross and discussing the love of God. I was still in the kitchen hardly able to control my emotion, I knew then without a doubt whose voice I had listened to that night. And to think at that very moment Shane could have been siting alone, eating a bologna sandwich, feeling like he was nothing more then a paycheck, and in competition with God, but instead he was being witnessed to by his four year old son.

That night, along with a book called Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious by Debi Pearl that I would recommend every wife or soon to be wife read, completely changed my life. I relinquished my self proclaimed role of being Shane's mother and holy-spirit, those positions were already filled anyway. Instead I proudly resumed my God given honor as being his Helper, Friend and Lover. As a result in the past six years a lot of other things have changed as well, I spend more time concentrating on where Shane will spend eternity and not his Sunday mornings, we have also added two more boys to our quiver. Of-course Shane is still the same ole (and I mean this with love) bullheaded command man, but with a much softer and loving side, I did go on to find a wonderful bible believing Church,  Shane has even went with me a few times , but dressing up and sitting still is just not something he is very comfortable with and much prefers to stay at home on Sundays to unwind after a long week; working with our little cow heard and playing with his boys. He is always excited to watch a Christian movie with us, or educational documentary on creation and will intently listen as I read the bible to the boys, and I can see he as a desire to learn more about our savior (I say our, because I am really not for sure if he understands Jesus is his Savior as well). Most Saturday nights we lay out our Sunday best ready for church in the morning, but Sunday morning rolls around and I find it hard to leave the embrace of a man that is so commented to serving his family, even thou I know he wouldn't care and may even come with me if I asked nice enough.

Does my story mean that I don't think that families need to make going to Church a priority in their lives, ABSOLUTLLY NOT. I can still be filled with an over whelming fear that I am not raising my boys to be proper Godly leaders in their homes, or what if something happens to one of us and our preacher and church family hardly even know who we are? I have learned to give these fears over to the Lord, and he reminds me that I am very mistaken (and you are too) if all it takes to train up Godly children is to have them in a Church as often as the doors are open. What good would that do if at home mom and dad barley speak to each other, and their homes are in constant turmoil with nagging and orders so everyone can be rushing here and there after every activity under the sun.

So more then likely you will not be seeing me sitting in a pew on Sunday morning, but I'm not just sitting at home. Instead the Lord has sent me to the Mission Field. . . Loving 4 boys and a daddy to Christ!

Kitchen Tips of the Day part 1

Some helpful hints I find helpful - you may already know &  are doing these.

For deviled eggs (I love to eat them, just hate the mess!):  boil eggs, peel and half as normal.  Take a ziploc bag and place the yolks and your other ingredients of preference.  Simply mash the bag after sealing it.  Once it is mashed well, simply cut the corner of the bag and pipe into the egg halves.  Simple, almost no mess and really great for those little helping hands that are just so eager!

Hashbrowns have gotten very expensive at the grocery store and hardly ever go on sale.  After various attempts at making my own hash browns and them not turning out how I'd expected I have found the "secret"!  Simply bake your potatoes, I do it until they're about half done.  I usually do this at the same time I make baked potatoes for supper, but pull the ones out I want for a later use.  Refrigerate.  Then, simply grate them into a skillet with a little oil and flavor to your specifications.  I like onion salt, diced onion and diced green & red peppers.  Your hash browns will turn out with the same consistency as the store bought, but you'll save a lot of $$! 

If you make your own granola I have discovered that when short on honey (or maple syrup) to use some of that delicious home made jam/jelly and it adds a whole new delicious element to the granola.  For a recipe for granola please see our recipe page.

Pilsbury biscuits are a wonderful buy if you are a coupon user.  Unfortunately the rolls come in 8.  When we had all of our kids living at home, one roll wasn't enough and two rolls was too many.  Now that we only have one kiddo at home, one roll is too many.  So, what I do is open the canister and bake what I need.  The others I place in a ziploc bag and either place in the fridge if I 'm going to be using in the next couple of days or in the freezer if I think it's going to be awhile.  This way it keeps us from wasting uneaten biscuits.  Even with the best of intentions of eating them with other meals, there always seems to be one unwanted biscout.  This process eliminates that wastfulness.  Which leads me to my next tip:

Many, many people purchase preboxed dressing for holiday meals.  I suggest about a month or two (depending on the size of your family) to start tossing your uneaten bread, buns, biscuits into the freezer.  You will be surprised at the collection you accumulate.  A couple days before the big meal, lay out the bread to allow it to thaw and dry out.  Then, simply crumble the bread and google a dressing recipe that sounds to your liking.  Again, a pretty big $$ saver and one of my favorite tips.

Well, that's about it for today - but check back soon for more tips to run your kitchen and household more efficiently!  Blessings!

Following Mary's Lead

    There is a certain amount of consolation I find when performing the mundane tasks of everyday.  Often times, they are mindless because they are done everyday, the same way with the same results.  Laundry, dishes and vacuuming are these chores for me.  But I need the normalcy of these tasks.  Especially as I reflect on 2010. 
   The biggest struggle I face is getting to where I want to be.  I want to be at the Lord's feet, listening and discovering what He has in store for me.  However, I tend to have a "shiny" personality and am quickly distracted with what needs to be done.  But, for you Marthas out there, I have realized and pray you realize not to be so hard on yourselves. We are serving the Lord when we provide our families with healthy meals.  We are serving Him when we work hard at our jobs and to the best of our abilities. 
   So, take heart as you embrace your work.  The important thing is to do it joyfully as if you were doing it for Christ.  Because, in fact, you are doing it for Him.  Every little thing that you do matters, even when no one sees it. 
   I grew up very poor and with very little of anything.  I also grew up in a house lacking joy and love and laughter.  So, I associate being poor with misery.  This isn't true and with the wisdom God has given I realize that.  But along the way of realizing this, I have made many mistakes.  Trying to buy happiness is probably one of the biggest mistakes I have made -many, many times.  As I have gotten older I have met so many blessed people that had little as well, but the difference is there was love.  It reminds me of Paul's letter to the Corinthians:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing . 1Corinthians 13:1-3 NIV

See, this goes as simple as us dusting the furniture, sweeping the floor, hanging the clothes, couponing and every other thing we do.  We must do it out of love.  If we can't do it with love, then we might as not do it at all.  Having been in a home with no love, it didn't matter to me as a little girl that the dishes were clean.  I didn't care if my clothes were without stains.  What I wanted was to be important to someone, to matter, to have someone go out of their way to do something for me.  That's what our families need.  If I dust, make it so it's because it makes the air quality in the house better for those I love.  If I must clean my kitchen, make it so it's because I want to make them something yummy.  If I must do the laundry, let it be because I adore those under my roof and I want them to feel comfort.  Bring back the joy in the every day.  Don't forget to laugh.  Because when you do, you are taking it to the feet of Jesus.  And He, too, is happy.
 

Crafts Gone Awry (why doesn't it look like the picture)!

 I really love crafts and admire the beauty and often simplicity that goes into a craft.  At least the directions usually sound rather easy.  And, technically, if you have the proper materials things should go rather smooth.  I even have a craft book (somewhere) of various projects that I've tried.  Just walking into a Hobby Lobby or Michael's or even Joann's Fabrics and Hancock Fabrics causes my pulse to quicken with the endless possibilities that are bottled in these stores.  Of course, my daughter Malorie, feels the same way as she flits from one item to the next.  But it isn't long before I am either over budget or just over whelmed.  But, I want the beauty that each item promises to produces in its crinkly celophane package - I can hear it, " buy me and I'll make your fireplace mantel beautiful and one of a kind!"  Well, then the practical side of me - the one that knows crafts I attempt usually flop - takes over and back it goes onto the shelf.  I have many flops in the past, but none that really stand out, except one.
  The biggest, stand alone flop was a 'home made' snowman craft that looked so cute in the book that I just had to have some of my own.  So out I go to Hobby Lobby to get my supplies.  The list was short, so it made me feel as though it was an easy craft.  I purchased styrofoam balls of various sizes, a couple yards of muslim, buttons, some remnant material and glue for my hot glue gun.  After tearing strips of muslim, according to the directions, I was ready to go.  Just wrap and glue.  So I did.  Then the balls were supposed to stack by using toothpicks and some more glue - got it. Next make a scarf, mouth and eyes.  Oh, a hat out of the left over remnants would be cute (in my little wee brain).  Voila!  Not so much...he looked more like the lead guy on A Nightmare Before Christmas and a mummy wrapped in one (pun intended).  Well, darn.  So I stuck him away so I could think about how I could improve this supposedly cute snowman that I knew would scare my 3 year old daughter if she saw it.  Well, I stuck him in the closet and attempted another (she wasn't up from her nap yet) and then another - until I had a whole family of mummies!  UGH!  A few days later, still upset over my failure, my husband finds them.  How did I know he had found them, he's in the office and I hear him laughing hysterically.  That's how I knew.  Well, he grabs one to come make fun of me with and it falls apart - more laughter ensues.  Now some of you may be laughing and there are those of you that think he was being a bit mean.  But, you have to remember, I didn't say a word about my flop to him and they really did look that ridiculous.  In fact, his laughter helped me laugh at myself.  I had been beating myself up at the obvious waste of money and the fact that there were more styrofoam balls waiting to be cute little snowmen. 
  Well, I hung onto those styrofoam balls for several years.  Then one year I remembered my step-grandmother used to make 'ghosties' out of Kleenex and Tootsie Roll pops.  So, I took those styrofoam balls and a sheet I had purchased on clearance for just a couple dollars and proceeded to make ghosties that we hung from our front maple trees right before Halloween. My daughter loved it and we used the little guys for about 3 years before the Kansas weather took their toll and they didn't look quite so cute anymore. 
  Then, there was another craft that went a little better, but still not as beautiful quality as someone with more crafty talent than I.  I believe it was on Martha Stewart.  Simply purchase plain, unfinished mantels and finish them to match your decor.  This seemed perfect since I had little storage in my new master bathroom.  It would be something I could hang above the tub to place all those bottles of whatever on.  Basically, I spray painted them a deep green, then on the bottom half of the mantel, I stretched fabric over it, causing pleats and glued it to the back of the shelves.  Then I added some coordinating fringe.  They were lovely!  So, on went some brackets and there they hung with lovely bottles of whatever on them.  Even though we've moved, I still have them.  They turned out that good.  And, if I ever get a master bath again - with a little re-structuring, I can make'em work. 
  But there's this blog http://www.idearoom.net/ where she does amazing crafts and they sound SO easy.  I really, really want to try them - but I think back to the scary snowman family and I wonder hmmmm, can I do this?  I suggest, if you like crafts to check out her blog.  I think Malorie and I are going to make an Alco run to get tissue streamers so we can fill our house of with roses!  I promise to post pictures, even if they don't really end up as roses for us.

The Garden to the Table: A Series, Part 1, Tomatoes

As Mary is off busy-ing herself with the latest and greatest gadgets, I am stealthily planning my garden.  Yes, it is only January and I do live in Kansas...but I am figuring how to lower my family's grocery bill even more dramatically.  The goal is to harvest and preserve enough that I have wholesome organic food until the next planting season.  Through many years of tried and true gardening I have gone from plant a little of everything to planting the basics that our family eats the most of.  My absolute favorite garden item would be the tomato.  There is just nothing more like heaven on earth than a sun-warmed and ripened tomato for lunch.

I love planting tomatoes.  They start as little tiny plants that often require an old coffee can or milk jug to protect it from the harsh Kansas winds and they grow into beautiful mini-trees.  I have learned that the closer you plant your tomatoes, the better.  I used to plant them far apart, about 4 feet around each one.  The reason I did this was because I hate spiders and if the tomato plants were far apart, it was less likely the spider would build his web between tomato cages.  But, through the years, my fear of spiders as waned a little and the closer the plants (about 2 feet apart) the more they seem to pollinate.  We all know pollination leads to more tomatoes.  Tomato cages can be purchased at your local home & garden store, tractor & supply store and even your discount stores.  I find that my tomatoes generally exceed my expectations and I have resorted to purchasing hog panel fencing and making round cages out of them.

My husband thinks I am strange because I love the smell of the plant.  It makes me sneeze, but it is such a earthy, natural scent I just can't help but love it.  The Kansas heat is hard on tomatoes, along with the flash flood type of rains we receive.  Irregular watering can cause the peels to split, so try to get them on a watering schedule.  Soaker hoses seem to be best.  As the tomatoes grow and canopy the ground, the soaker hoses make sure the water gets to the roots.  Another thing I have learned is to try and move the spot your tomatoes are in every 3-4 years to prevent various diseases.  Especially rainy years can also cause different fungi to grow.  Unfortunately, when this happens it is impossible to keep your plants alive and reproducing AND be organic.  An antifungal powder will need to be applied.  Follow the directions printed on the chemical VERY CLOSELY.  One other thing that happens from time to time is tomato worms or these big black awful bugs that look like wasps without wings.  One year I recognized them too late and almost lost my whole tomato crop.  Again, when these fellas invade, it is no longer possible to keep them alive and still be organic.  The label of the pesticide or anitfungal powder will tell you how long you must wait to harvest your vegetable.  Even then, wash them very thoroughly. 

Generally, preserving tomatoes for me is pretty basic.  I like to keep it simple because when your counter tops, window sills and table are full of tomatoes - making it complicated can then make it an overwhelming chore.  There are just a few easy steps to preserving your tomatoes.  Generally, I prefer to freeze my tomatoes rather than canning them but I have done both and each has their advantages.  Here are the steps of preserving your tomatoes:

1.  Clean all tomatoes by washing in sink.  Before the next step in preparing your maters, put on a large pot to boil on the stove.Next, cut out the stem of each tomato.  To cut out the stem take a knife and insert it next the stem.  Cut around the stem, but with the knife angled inward.  Once you have gone completely around the stem area, the stem should come out and look like a cone.  Now, if you are canning your tomatoes in jars, do not use any tomatoes with bad spots.  This is essential as there are many dangerous strains of bacteria that cause food poisoning.  However, if you are freezing your tomatoes then just cut out the bad spot of the tomato making sure that you have removed it all. 

2.  Your large pot (use the biggest one you have) should be boiling.  Have ready a metal colander that fits inside your pot.  It doesn't have to be part of a special set, just any metal colander that fits will do.  Also have tongs, a timer and a sink full of clean cold water.  Please be sure to disinfect your sink and make sure it is absolutely free of any debris. 

3.  Next is to load your metal colander up with tomatoes.  Now, if you don't have a metal colander and cannot afford to purchase one, never fear.  You can also carefully place tomatoes into the boiling water with your own method. Just one thing you need to know is the longer the tomatoes are in the boiling water, the more nutrients cook out of them.  This is why I recommend a metal colander, easy in and easy out.  Place your tomatoes into the boiling water and quickly set the timer for 1 minute.  Quickly and carefully remove the colander from the boiling water.  My sink is very close to my stove, but I still lay towels on my counter and floor in case of water drips (messy and slippery).  Carefully dump tomatoes that were just in the boiling water into the sink of cold water.  Allow them to sit about 1 minute.  This process is called blanching and what this does is shock the nutrients so they won't break down later on and also allows the skin of the tomato to practically fall off.  Place the "naked" tomatoes in a bowl, skins out of the cold water and repeat the process from step one until all your tomatoes no longer have skins.  You may have to add water once in awhile to the boiling pot and change the water in your sink as it will get warmer with each load of tomatoes. 

Please be very careful when dealing with boiling water as it can cause burns, blisters and the like.  Make sure if you have toddlers, that handles are turned so they cannot pull the pot of water on themselves and make sure all children are clear when you are transporting the tomatoes from the boiling water to the cold water.

What you do next with your tomatoes is pretty much up to you.  Here is what I do with them:

I have a blender and blend them into a sauce.  I then add 1 teaspoon canning salt and 1 teaspoon lemon juice per 2 quarts of tomato sauce.  Then I pour it into quart freezer bags (if you have a large family you may want to do gallon freezer bags).  I seal them and lay them FLAT in the freezer.  By laying them flat, they freeze flat and take up a lot less room in your freezer.  It's kind of like folding your clothes vs. wadding your clothes and trying to get them to fit into the dresser drawer - a lot more clothing will fit if they're folded.

I will also freeze them whole or diced and with this I just fill a freezer bag full, seal and lay as flat as possible.

If you prefer to can, there are some extremely specific detailed steps you must ensure you complete for absolute safety of your family.  Canning can be convenient if your freezer space is limited and yes, I have done it.  But, if you are canning, I INSIST you research canning in various  cookbooks that have whole sections dedicated to canning.  Please see the Amazon link below to find the appropriate cookbooks needed for this venture.

Generally, I try and grow a lot of tomatoes because a lot of our menu is tomato-based.  Spaghetti, chili, stew and many other uses.  I am very happy if I can freeze enough tomatoes to allow me to use them twice a week from October until May.  That is approximately 64 quarts of tomatoes for my family.  It takes about 4lbs to make a quart and so I try and plant about 20-40 plants.  This allows our family enough tomatoes to eat them liberally throughout the summer as well.  As it gets cooler and the nights in the fall are getting closer to freezing, it is quite easy to store tomatoes to eat fresh.  Pick them all and keep them in a cool dark place wrapped in newspapers.  I have often wondered why everything ripens in a newspaper and I don't know why, but it does.  This will keep tomatoes for many weeks to come, even after the frost and the plants have died. 

If you have never preserved tomatoes before, please do not feel you have to do it on a "Martha" scale the first year.  Start slowly and learn.  Every year and everyone's experiences are different.  I have had many years where things don't work, then mysteriously, because the weather is just right it does work.  God made them hardy and they can survive just about anything, so don't be afraid of a tomato plant.  Just remember to water it and all should be well - growing things isn't hard, it's in our nature to do so!  So dig some holes, plant some home grown fresh food and sit back and marvel at the goodness of God!

Breaking The Chains: Link1

Okay Marys, the first order of business for the new "organized" you, is to commit this change to the Lord....I sometimes think that we (or at least I) start thinking that God has way more important things to worry about than me being on top of my to do list. But that is a foolish belief. He wants to be in every part of our lives-including mundane household chores. He wants us to live in peace and enjoy the family he gave us and fellowship with other believer. So,  if days of dirty dishes, piles of laundry and ceiling fan fuzz falling down on you during supper (this has never happened to us, although it is highly possible IF I had a ceiling fan over my table table! )is keeping you from this-then you better believe he wants to be the in middle of it!! It is no accident that this domestic discourse was included in his "Love Letter" to us. He knew that there would be "Desperate Housewives" way before Hollywood thought of it! Mary and Martha struggled with the balance of multi-tasking so many things-and that was two-thousand years before soccer practice, piano lessons, Wednesday night youth group and the list of demand and directions we are pulled in this modern age goes on and on. So first things first, ask God for direction and commit that you will start each day with him-I am going to include some links to some sites where you can sign up for an email of a "verse of a day" or a simple 15 minute bible study sent right to your phone or e-mail. Some times at my house my morning time with the Lord is that quick bible verse in my email box, my mp3 player blaring with praise and worship music; asking Jesus to tag along with me as I do my thing praying and praising!
The links I recommend:


Powered by 4 http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/P4homepage.html
The Daily Bible http://www.everydaybible.com/


A book that  I also would highly recommend is Taking Care of the Me in Mommy: Becoming a Better Mom: Spirit, Body & Soul by Lisa Welchel-that you can get from Amazon, either in paperback or as an e-reader. ( Yes, to all you X's out there, that is Blair from the facts of Life-I was shocked and slightly offended once when I found out that my just this month turning 30 year old sister had never even heard of Blair, Jo, or the Facts of Life" That's just wrong! It wasn't that long ago!) This book was full of great tips for making time to be with the Lord, your hubby, hobbies and lots of great household tips, that I use almost everyday.


So now that we agree that real change comes form the Lord and that he is going to be Head Coach in this "Chain Breaking"  endeavor, you must also realize that this will not happen overnight.  We are going to be trying to reverse (in most cases) a lifetime of bad habits. Just like a successful diet, it is a slow life style change that you have to commit to and not a crash course-we are breaking years of chains, it is not going to happen overnight!

Your First Assignment Today is to make a list of the top things that get you the furthest behind, not only in the house, but your budget and other areas that stress you out- if you do not do them or stay on top of them, here is a list of mine, but yours may be different:

1. Making sure I go to bed and wake up at the same time everyday ( I know that stinks-but that really is a biggy, it is amazing how over sleeping 15 minutes can change the course of the day!)

2.Starting the day with a clean sink and the dish washer empty and ready to start the day

3. Not only keeping the laundry washed, but folded and put away.

4. Making sure I have a meal plan for the week, coupons organized, and groceries in the house.

5. Making sure I have my checkbook up to date with  both Shane and I's recent purchases.

6. Taking the time to  look at tomorrow's list and lay out all the thing I need for the next day, be it clothes, meat for a crock-pot meal, Shane's lunch or any thing that would help the morning go smoother

That's really about it. If I can make sure those things get done-the rest seems to fall into place-So Marthas' quit laughing-and Marys' start on your list, My next post will tell you what to do with it!

Breaking the Chains - Take Two!!

Hi there everybody! Mary here and after a week of the launch of the “Are you Martha because you are Mary Blog” I am finally making my first post!!!!! But you know, I had to get myself “organized” before I could blog about “Getting Organized”.
I want to start out by telling you how this whole, Are you Martha because you are Mary thing got started. I obviously as the handle of “Mary,” as this site implies, have never been known for my organizational skills, I have however been known to talk...and talk …and talk, and did I mention I really like to talk? This part of my personality was never been much of a problem (at least for me, the people who have had to listen to my ramblings probably feel differently ;-) But after I got married and became a wife and mother the demands of talking care of a husband, children and a home started to get the best of me. So many times I would lay my head down on the pillow and wonder “ How Is it I have been in constant motion since 5:00am, and am still going to bed with a sink full of dirty dishes and a pile of laundry needing to be folded? And while those undone chores would have Martha in total dismay, it wasn't the fact that there was a pile of dishes stacked in my sink that was bothering me, it was the fact that I had spent the entire day chasing my tail and didn't go outside to play with my kids or play that board game I had promised I would play “hust as soon as I get the house clean”. At the height of my feeling overwhelmed with all of my domestic responsibilities my Bible study group started a series about Mary and Martha and which one of these ladies best describes you? Are you Martha, the detailed originated women who has to have everything perfect and orderly as to impress your guest? Or are you Mary, the bubbly people person who wants everything as simple as possible so you can spend time and visit with your guest. With out hesitating I pinned myself as a “Mary”. After all, I am bubbly, love to talk and don't even notice all of those little details that the poor Marthas of the world fret over trying to make perfect! Within the week of what seemed a typical Bible Study meeting a good friend (no, not you Martha) called to set up a play date in the park to catch up. I am sure she could tell that I was hesitating, Of course I wanted to see her and I was always in the mood for a play date,but I was horribly behind and knew if I went to the park with her I would lose a whole afternoon and it would take that much longer for me to get caught back up. My mind immediately went to( in my mind, the ultimate Martha) my Mother-In-Law (Sorry Jess, you are a very close second!) My MIL is the most efficient woman I have ever known-there is nothing in her home that is not absolutely immaculate or a single 'I will get to that later pile.' The most amazing thing is she never seems stressed or even that busy. Meanwhile Miss Mary here was stressing about a play date with a dear friend.  On the contrary,  my “Martha” Mother in Law was always thrilled to see us for an unannounced visit, or more then willing to watch the kids spur of the moment.  She would even happily roll up her sleeves to help with painting or any little job I had been putting off (much like another Martha I know ;-P).  So then it hit me like a ton of bricks, “Holy Cow! I'm a Martha, because I am a Mary!” I knew at that time I had to do something to end all of the chaos in my life -not to impress or to obsess over, but to be a better wife, mother, friend and servant of Christ. So with the help of a sister, several books and websites and a lot of trial and error I began to slowly “Break the Chains” that had been holding me hostage and not allowing me to do the things I love with the people I love. Then It came...July 2009.
After years of research and prayer my husband and I decided that we were going to home school our boys. At that time a third grader, first grader, and a 2 ½ year old. So on July 5, 2009, the Winsor School for Boys began.  Three days later on July 8 we were very excited (and a little apprehensive) to learn that the following spring this little one room country school would be adding another pupil-baby #4 was in the oven!
As the middle of August came, along our 6th week of school,  I was increasingly becoming very concerned about our middle son.  He knew all of the alphabet, the sounds and could spell third grade level words out loud but he couldn't read.  The same with math-he knew and understood simple multiplication, if he was asked out loud or with flash cards, but if it was on paper he couldn't even answer simple addition problems. I knew he could see things at a distance just fine, but since his dad is far sighted I thought maybe he might be far sighted as well and just needed some reading glasses. I was right it was his eyes, but a simple pair of eye glasses was not going to fix it! In simple terms he had an extreme case of eye convergence problems...which means his eyes could not work together and as they tried to focus on words and print that were close to his face he would see words in double and extremely unfocused.  He also could not track letters and his eyes would jump all over the page. The only way to correct this problem was through eye therapy and to reteach the muscles of the eyes how to work together. In normal cases this is about a 2 to 3 month treatment, but for our poor Bryce, this was to be a 12 to 15 month daily ordeal as he had the worst case our eye Dr. had ever seen .  Further tests revealed that he had the eye development of a 1 year old. Luckily our therapist knew what a burden the three 80 mile trips to Wichita a week would be for our family, and since we were a home school family who had more time to do therapy at home during the day,  they agreed to let me do more extensive “home therapy” then what is typical. So here I was, first year home school mom of three with the first trimester yucks, part time coop employee, newly trained eye therapist plus the weekly trip to Wichita to the real therapist. A list that would seem daunting even to the most seasoned of Maratha's let alone a Mary, who losses focus at every shiny object she sees. But in the scheme of things I knew it was such a minor ordeal compared to some of the challenges a lot of families are dealt and we just did it, and even managed to finish our school year right on target the first of April, Just three weeks after our fourth son was born. Eye therapy continued through the summer and Bryce was making wonderful headway and was even nicked name the “Rocky Balboa” of eye therapy for all of his hard work and determination. So, September of this year, after 13 months, we were officially released and could even quit the home therapy sessions. It was definitely a relief, but as we settle back in to the “new old normal” I realized how neglected and behind my home had gotten...and quite honestly once I was able to stop a little I realized how absolutely exhausted I was. And here I sit, 5 months later with every chain I had broken wrapped even tighter around me! That is where this blog comes to play! To help me Break the Chains...AGAIN! As a Mary I know how important a “map” is, without one we take every scenic route exit we come to, and before we know it we are in “Oklahoma” when we were trying to make it to “Nebraska”. I also know that God made each of us differently, what works for one of us, will not work for someone else. My hope is through this site I can help you come up with ideas and plans for you to make your map; while also posting my own map, and my journey of getting back on the “Interstate”. Of course the ultimate goal is to find that balance between “Mary and Martha”-We do not want to be so focused that we never take the scenic routes – we just can't live on them.  If we did no one in our families would ever have any clean underwear to wear! (Martha's, you don't understand this, don't even try-Mary's you know exactly what I am talking about ;-p ) The ultimate goal is for both of these two kinds of woman to come to the feet of our Savior, serving him through serving our families, and while Martha learns to keep it “Simple”, and Mary learns to “Just Do It”, maybe we'll be able to teach each other to Just Do It........SIMPLY!

Stop and Smell the Roses!

Recently, I was expressing to a friend of mine how I was so disappointed in my ability to home school my daughter.  It wasn't that we weren't moving right through the curriculum, it was a lot of disappointment in myself.  It is a complete struggle for me to set aside what I categorize as what needs to be done to do what would be fun to do. 

Somewhere along the line I became consumed with going from one task to the next.  I suppose some of it came from only having one child and needing to feel as though I had it all together.  Which leads to my disappointment, because we weren't having the fun I had originally envisioned we would have.  It was a huge decision for me to take her out of public school and take on the commitment myself.  Most of my friends and even an organization I belong to are mainly teachers.  We live in a small town, so it's not like I could pretend we moved or anything.  But, when I began homeschooling, I had grand ideas of crafts, sewing, cooking, crocheting and just chugging through one project to the next along with the required curriculum.

Only, with working part time and my daughter being somewhat of a procrastinator (I'm pretty sure she's going to have a Mary personality) it takes a very long time to complete the schoolwork.  This tends to stress me out, because I wanted her life to be so much richer with knowledge than just the books. 

So, as I was venting to my friend (another woman with 4 boys - in fact, 3 of my closest friends each have 4 boys...that may be another blog subject) and she just simply suggested that I start with the fun stuff once in a while. Hmmm.  But, I was trying to use it as a motivation - which wasn't working, I might add.  But, I wasn't so sure I was ready to give up my right to be right.  It's awfully hard.  So, we switched up our process a bit and implemented  a "sliding drawer process" - I thought this would work for multiple children and not so well with one single child.  However, we've been doing it about a week and it has been going smoother than expected.  Basically, I have a rubbermaid  set of 7 drawers that are clear.  I place something to do in each drawer.  This also includes fun things like exercise with mom, snack and computer time.  And, of course, it also has the required work as well.  I have a  piece of Velcro on the front of each drawer and laminated numbers that have Velcro as well. There is a sheet that has my daughter's name on it, along with pieces of Velcro that she chose to put in the form of a smiley face.  As she completes a drawer, she takes the number and places it on the smiley face.  When she is done with school for the day, she has a completed smiley face, which is rewarding. 

Being such a stickler for details and fear that I am not educating my daughter to the best of my ability, I was leery about putting fun things in some of the drawers.  But, my friends words haunted me, so I dutifully put in the 4th drawer exercise with mom last night.  Well, we have lots of snow on the ground, so the exercise of choice was sledding!  Boy, am I glad I had put that in the drawer, because it is a sort of unstated promise and I had to do it.  Our yard is at a slope, so even though we didn't go lightning fast, we still had fun and laughed a lot.  This taught me a lesson, unfortunately, I will be quick to forget it.  But, snow usually doesn't last in our area but a few days and it's gone.  We are lucky to get 2 or 3 worthwhile snows a year.  My lesson was to stop and smell the roses. 

And, since it was in the middle of our school day, she had already completed her Bible lesson, devotion and learned how to pray for the missionaries in Mongolia.  She also worked on her geography and read about the grasslands of Africa.  Now, after the snow fun she will finish her math lessons of yard - foot - inch conversions while adding and subracting them, spelling, her reading about David Livingstone.  She will also do a typing program on the computer.  This one I am a little prideful about, because she will be one of not too many fourth graders that can properly type. 

So, though I may poke fun at Mary just a bit - I honestly am jealous.  I know that God designed us all differently, I just wish it wasn't such a struggle for me to sit back and enjoy life rather than do, do, do.   But, I am blessed beyond measure - and it's not the big things - it's the little things.  But, because they are little, I think I cherish them so much more!

So, THAT'S How You Get Your Kids to Eat Zucchini!

Pretty much every one of us parents has had at some point a difficult run in with our little blessings and vegetables.  It's a challenge, but this is one area where I say, "stand your ground!"

I married my husband when his sons were 8 & 5 and with no mother in the picture and a grandma doing the majority of mothering...well... it just wasn't easy.  Grandmas love their grandkids a whole different level than parents and somehow the rules of parenting just don't apply in that relationship.  As a result, these boys pretty much considered potatoes a sole source of vegetable and grandma was known to tell them, "As long as you eat your meat you can have dessert."  Even when grandma would make a wonderful peach cobbler with fresh peaches, she still didn't make them eat it - she'd just let them have the ice cream! 

So, when meals began at our home for those little guys and I realized how vegetables had never entered into their little systems, I began making a different vegetable every evening.  Some were complete flops and that I could even blame on my lack of knowledge for the preparation of the vegetable.  They still laugh at how they had to eat brussel sprouts.  Well, how, when I left the room Dad shoveled in their brussel sprouts.

It was their complete resistance of any sort of vegetable and my intense love of fresh vegetables that sent me on this mission.  We were married in May, so the garden was in place.  Zucchini is definitely a vegetable that grows in abundance, so I began getting creative.  Here are some successful ways that eventually the word zucchini didn't send them in a panic.

The first thing I made was zucchini bread.  For those of you who have never tried it, it is rather delicious and comparable to banana bread.  In fact, it was a very long time before I told them it was actually zucchini.

The next successful attempt was breaded zucchini.  I didn't tell them it was zucchini - in fact I'm not even sure they asked - they just smothered it with ketchup and were happy.  Granted, breaded and fried zucchini is not the healthiest thing in the world, but it is very tasty and they were eating a vegetable!

And the last successful venture was finely dicing zucchini and using half as much meat in dishes like spaghetti and adding the zucchini.  Zucchini is fairly tasteless and takes on whatever flavors it is with, therefore it is an excellent choice for an added veggie in spaghetti.  Plus the rich red sauce hides the funny green - if you're really desparate because you've allowed picky eaters to evolve in your home I would suggest peeling the zucchini then chopping finely before adding.  It makes them even less visible.  Unfortunately, you do lose some nutrition value, but it's a beginning and more than what they had before you started substituting.  You can add it in chili, omelettes, stews and whatever else you can dream up.  Zucchini freezes fairly well, so it is easy to preserve and use throughout the winter season.  It does turn soggy, so it's not suggest you freeze the zucchnini in hopes of frying or thawing and eating fresh.

The final victory was after a couple of years of regularly hiding the zucchini in various foods, I was even able to get them to eat fresh & raw on salads and with dip.  And, that's when as a mom you can smile and pat yourself on the back a little.

Don't give up on your kids yet, if I can walk in and convince stepchildren to eat vegetables then you can too.  The key is to remember to stick to your guns, start with super small portions (maybe they have to eat one) and the more they see it the less it will intimidate them.  I heard somewhere that a child has to see something eleven times before they're not freaked out by it.  The last thing I can suggest is to ignore their reactions, it's all to gain sympathy and a reaction from you. 

What I've done in the past with zucchini can be done with many other vegetables as well.  It's important to incorporate various things into your meals, even if you have to process them to a runny mass to be able to add them and not have them noticed.

So, to all you parents and guardians struggling with vegetables - Happy Eating!

Cost Efficient Heating Part 2

This topic seemed to create a lot of interest from many of my  friends, so I thought I'd keep you updated on some of our decisions. 

We are pretty much sold on a multi-fuel stove that will burn not only wood pellets but also various grains.  I even have the perfect alcove in my home where it will sit and look just wonderful.  It's in our main family room, so we will be able to enjoy the flame along with the TV.  Currently the alcove houses our home office operation, but since computers are an essential part of life, I'm sure we'll find a great spot for it.  I spent about 20 minutes talking to Mary's mother today and she really gave some great things to look for in a stove.  One of those things was the ash drawer as opposed to scooping out the ashes.  I'm glad she mentioned that in the event we purchase a used corn / pellet stove, I  know to look for the drawer!  Another thing she mentioned was her new one has a larger glass front because she likes to watch the flame - well, so do I, so I need to remember that as well. 

The only kicker is that the man of the house has decided to wait on the purchase of the stove.  This makes me sad, but he is not one to rush into a "renovation" - particularly one that will require a hole in our lovely home. 

He reasoned to his very disappointed wife (me) that this is an in and out project and if he has any trouble, he doesn't want to have a whole in the house.  However, since I am ever optimistic, I don't foresee any problems that he can't overcome.  What's a hole in a lathe and plaster, wood framed, stucco, vinyl sided house anyhow?  OK, OK, I'm starting to see his point. 

But, I'm very concerned about my creature comfort of wanting to be warm AND save money.  What's a girl to do?  Well, we visited with his oldest brother who has had an EdenPURE room heater for about 4 years.  This heater keeps their main rooms in their house (a house that my hubby and I renovated when I was 7 mos. pregnant) at about 70 degrees.  It raised their electric bill about $25 a month, but as a result, the furnace does not kick on.  Hmmm. 

After talking with the wise brother, I realized that my man of the house was thinking this was a quick & easy fix and I was a little dismayed.  I really, really want a corn/pellet stove! 

We researched which EdenPURE to buy and went with the Gen4 model for $397.  A dear friend of mine will ask if I had a coupon. No, I didn't but I did get free shipping!  This will keep our home toastier until we can get a corn/pellet stove installed.  The man of the house assured me that we will be getting a stove and when that happens the EdenPURE will be going into the basement to make sure that all stays toasty and warm as well.  I am pretty sure we will be going with a Harman Stove (see link on the sidebar).  They are a family owned and operated company that is and always has been American made.  The warranty and guarantee are phenomenal.  I find great pride in owning something  so profound made in our beautiful, free country. 

They have beautiful fireplace inserts that I would just love to have.  But, my fear is our fireplace is very close to the bedrooms and we like a cool room to sleep in.  (The man of the house gets hot when it's 66 at night.)  And, since corn/pellet stoves seem to really warm up a home, I know it would make him miserable at night even if we shut the stove off and closed the door during the day.  Therefore, that is why we selected the northeast corner of our house to put a freestanding stove - our bedroom is in the southwest corner of the house. 

If your family has a corn/pellet stove or has an alternative source that keeps your home warm with an efficient price, feel free to post!  Oh, and one thing to remember if your family is considering this for an alternate heat source - 2011 is a 15% tax credit dollar for dollar on your tax return.  Every little bit counts!  Blessings to you all!  Martha