Breaking the Chains - Take Two!!

Hi there everybody! Mary here and after a week of the launch of the “Are you Martha because you are Mary Blog” I am finally making my first post!!!!! But you know, I had to get myself “organized” before I could blog about “Getting Organized”.
I want to start out by telling you how this whole, Are you Martha because you are Mary thing got started. I obviously as the handle of “Mary,” as this site implies, have never been known for my organizational skills, I have however been known to talk...and talk …and talk, and did I mention I really like to talk? This part of my personality was never been much of a problem (at least for me, the people who have had to listen to my ramblings probably feel differently ;-) But after I got married and became a wife and mother the demands of talking care of a husband, children and a home started to get the best of me. So many times I would lay my head down on the pillow and wonder “ How Is it I have been in constant motion since 5:00am, and am still going to bed with a sink full of dirty dishes and a pile of laundry needing to be folded? And while those undone chores would have Martha in total dismay, it wasn't the fact that there was a pile of dishes stacked in my sink that was bothering me, it was the fact that I had spent the entire day chasing my tail and didn't go outside to play with my kids or play that board game I had promised I would play “hust as soon as I get the house clean”. At the height of my feeling overwhelmed with all of my domestic responsibilities my Bible study group started a series about Mary and Martha and which one of these ladies best describes you? Are you Martha, the detailed originated women who has to have everything perfect and orderly as to impress your guest? Or are you Mary, the bubbly people person who wants everything as simple as possible so you can spend time and visit with your guest. With out hesitating I pinned myself as a “Mary”. After all, I am bubbly, love to talk and don't even notice all of those little details that the poor Marthas of the world fret over trying to make perfect! Within the week of what seemed a typical Bible Study meeting a good friend (no, not you Martha) called to set up a play date in the park to catch up. I am sure she could tell that I was hesitating, Of course I wanted to see her and I was always in the mood for a play date,but I was horribly behind and knew if I went to the park with her I would lose a whole afternoon and it would take that much longer for me to get caught back up. My mind immediately went to( in my mind, the ultimate Martha) my Mother-In-Law (Sorry Jess, you are a very close second!) My MIL is the most efficient woman I have ever known-there is nothing in her home that is not absolutely immaculate or a single 'I will get to that later pile.' The most amazing thing is she never seems stressed or even that busy. Meanwhile Miss Mary here was stressing about a play date with a dear friend.  On the contrary,  my “Martha” Mother in Law was always thrilled to see us for an unannounced visit, or more then willing to watch the kids spur of the moment.  She would even happily roll up her sleeves to help with painting or any little job I had been putting off (much like another Martha I know ;-P).  So then it hit me like a ton of bricks, “Holy Cow! I'm a Martha, because I am a Mary!” I knew at that time I had to do something to end all of the chaos in my life -not to impress or to obsess over, but to be a better wife, mother, friend and servant of Christ. So with the help of a sister, several books and websites and a lot of trial and error I began to slowly “Break the Chains” that had been holding me hostage and not allowing me to do the things I love with the people I love. Then It came...July 2009.
After years of research and prayer my husband and I decided that we were going to home school our boys. At that time a third grader, first grader, and a 2 ½ year old. So on July 5, 2009, the Winsor School for Boys began.  Three days later on July 8 we were very excited (and a little apprehensive) to learn that the following spring this little one room country school would be adding another pupil-baby #4 was in the oven!
As the middle of August came, along our 6th week of school,  I was increasingly becoming very concerned about our middle son.  He knew all of the alphabet, the sounds and could spell third grade level words out loud but he couldn't read.  The same with math-he knew and understood simple multiplication, if he was asked out loud or with flash cards, but if it was on paper he couldn't even answer simple addition problems. I knew he could see things at a distance just fine, but since his dad is far sighted I thought maybe he might be far sighted as well and just needed some reading glasses. I was right it was his eyes, but a simple pair of eye glasses was not going to fix it! In simple terms he had an extreme case of eye convergence problems...which means his eyes could not work together and as they tried to focus on words and print that were close to his face he would see words in double and extremely unfocused.  He also could not track letters and his eyes would jump all over the page. The only way to correct this problem was through eye therapy and to reteach the muscles of the eyes how to work together. In normal cases this is about a 2 to 3 month treatment, but for our poor Bryce, this was to be a 12 to 15 month daily ordeal as he had the worst case our eye Dr. had ever seen .  Further tests revealed that he had the eye development of a 1 year old. Luckily our therapist knew what a burden the three 80 mile trips to Wichita a week would be for our family, and since we were a home school family who had more time to do therapy at home during the day,  they agreed to let me do more extensive “home therapy” then what is typical. So here I was, first year home school mom of three with the first trimester yucks, part time coop employee, newly trained eye therapist plus the weekly trip to Wichita to the real therapist. A list that would seem daunting even to the most seasoned of Maratha's let alone a Mary, who losses focus at every shiny object she sees. But in the scheme of things I knew it was such a minor ordeal compared to some of the challenges a lot of families are dealt and we just did it, and even managed to finish our school year right on target the first of April, Just three weeks after our fourth son was born. Eye therapy continued through the summer and Bryce was making wonderful headway and was even nicked name the “Rocky Balboa” of eye therapy for all of his hard work and determination. So, September of this year, after 13 months, we were officially released and could even quit the home therapy sessions. It was definitely a relief, but as we settle back in to the “new old normal” I realized how neglected and behind my home had gotten...and quite honestly once I was able to stop a little I realized how absolutely exhausted I was. And here I sit, 5 months later with every chain I had broken wrapped even tighter around me! That is where this blog comes to play! To help me Break the Chains...AGAIN! As a Mary I know how important a “map” is, without one we take every scenic route exit we come to, and before we know it we are in “Oklahoma” when we were trying to make it to “Nebraska”. I also know that God made each of us differently, what works for one of us, will not work for someone else. My hope is through this site I can help you come up with ideas and plans for you to make your map; while also posting my own map, and my journey of getting back on the “Interstate”. Of course the ultimate goal is to find that balance between “Mary and Martha”-We do not want to be so focused that we never take the scenic routes – we just can't live on them.  If we did no one in our families would ever have any clean underwear to wear! (Martha's, you don't understand this, don't even try-Mary's you know exactly what I am talking about ;-p ) The ultimate goal is for both of these two kinds of woman to come to the feet of our Savior, serving him through serving our families, and while Martha learns to keep it “Simple”, and Mary learns to “Just Do It”, maybe we'll be able to teach each other to Just Do It........SIMPLY!